Systems for a better Self

Published by Xiao on 15/12/202215/12/2022

Sometimes I feel that there is more than one you, like you act differently on different occasions, almost to the point as if you were a different person.

One of my recurring thoughts has been for the longest time “why I’m so disciplined and efficient at work and not so much when it comes to personal stuff?”. I haven’t given it too much thought until this morning when while spacing out staring at the window, a revelation struck me.

We have a standard type of behavior for every type of situation or people, and that’s usually set on the first interactions.

Let’s take work for example. I always wondered how I managed to hit almost all the deadlines on time or be ready way before the due date, when when I was in Uni I would struggle so much to turn in the assignments on time.

I used to think that I’m such a dumbass for being able to prepare and memorize a corporate presentation and totally forget about paying my bills, I mean what the heck is wrong with me?

And instead of finding a way to prevent that, I would just get really sad and depressed with a very high likelihood of that happening again in the future.

Sounds super dumb, I know. But hey in your head everything makes sense and you don’t feel stupid until you say it out loud (or in this case type it out).

The thing is at work we are usually we are given a rigid structure right from the get-go, you have to mark at the beginning and end of your shift, you can only take one coffee break, your lunchtime is X, and you need to get this done for the day so far and so forth.

This gives you a rigid structure with very little freedom but also forces you to focus on your daily tasks and over time, it makes you very efficient at that.

When things become automatic, you don’t need to rely on willpower or motivation, you just do it, because that’s what you do. Just like brushing your teeth in the morning.

In our private lives tho, we often rely on systems passed down by our parents from when we were little, that are not always fit for our adult lives.

So now we need to set our own rules and follow them.

Building systems in your life doesn’t sound sexy and actually quite boring, to be honest, but it works and that’s all it matters.

I wish somebody would have told me this in my early 20s.
Freedom is not free, with freedom comes responsibilities and the duty to look after yourself and what you want.